Visiting Archana's Family

Archana is a bank client and my closest local friend in Mhaswad. I teach her English at her home daily and visit her shop at least a few times a week. She’s an unbelievable human being and for reasons I won’t disclose here, she is also one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. Her sister and brother-in-law have been trying to get me to visit their house since December. Earlier this week, Archana and I agreed to make the trip!

We boarded a government bus early in the morning for the five hour journey to Ichalkarenji. We were greeted by her brother-in-law, a wealthy factory owner, and his daughter and nephew. Our visit began in true Indian fashion. When we arrived at their home we were greeted by more family: Archana’s sister, Archana’s sister’s sister-in-law, Archana’s sister’s mother- and father-in-law, and a bunch of kids. The greetings were followed by a massively delicious lunch with all sorts of special dishes.

After lunch we set out to the nearest big city, Kholapur, to visit a 2000 year old Hindu temple—quite impressive. We followed this with some delicious sugarcane juice, a trip to the park, and a short boat ride on a lake. Afterwards, we journeyed to the family flour factory (I find factories fascinating) and, of course, to McDonalds (one of the family’s favorite eating establishments). At McDonalds I was again forced to eat more food than my stomach could hold, and was then told that I what I was eating was a snack, not dinner. Once we returned home I had to refuse to eat any dinner. They had already fed me so much that I was feeling sick, and although I know it was rude, I simply couldn’t eat anymore.

The following morning I woke up, and after going through every single family photo album, we watched Archana’s sister’s marriage video. For me the video was interesting in that it emphasized how different Archana’s life is from her sister’s. Most people would consider her sister far more fortunate. For breakfast we went to the other family house which was ridiculously nice. Again, I was stuffed silly with food and had to (rudely, although I tried to be as polite as possible) refuse third, fourth, and fifth helpings. What I find so funny is that even though they kept telling me not to eat oily food because my skin is so broken out, they kept forcing me to eat super oily food! But I digress…

We again visited a local temple, not as impressive this time, but nice and quiet and surrounded by some greenery. Archana’s sister’s family then decided that since it was my first time visiting their home, and only Archana’s second visit, that they needed to buy us gifts. So we went to pick out saris and they picked out purses for us. Seriously, when you’re a guest in someone’s home, you’re treated like a queen and you just kind of have to go with the flow and accept it.

Our last stop of the day was at home for a quick lunch and dozens of family + me photos on the lawn. After refusing their numerous pleas for us to stay at least one more day, we boarded the bus back to Mhaswad. They have already called me several times to tell me that they miss me and to invite me to their home again. The whole visit really makes me smile; it was really nice to see Archana so happy.

Research Bloopers

So last week I continued (after a long hiatus) interviewing women for a client story booklet that I’m working on. Because I don’t speak Kannada I needed to use a translator for the interview. The translator that I used was a wonderful woman from the Mann Deshi staff in Hubli, Karnataka. However, this interview is an example of exactly how research should NOT be conducted:

Me: Are there any ways that Mann Deshi can be more helpful to women?
Interviewer: How can Mann Deshi help women more? What services would you like Mann Deshi to provide? How about health insurance?
Client: Um… health insurance.
Interviewer (to me): She says that she really needs health insurance.
My Friend (to interviewer, knowing what was going on): But she just said earlier that she doesn’t need to spend very much money on healthcare.

Bank clients know that Mann Deshi is eager to offer health insurance. However, my friend who is researching health insurance in the Hubli office thinks that health insurance may not benefit women, may not be a good idea, that there may be better alternatives, and that promoting certain health insurance schemes could be unethical. The interviewer was totally leading the client and misrepresenting what the client said.

The interview was not going as I had wanted it to. The translation was awful, my questions seriously needed to be restructured, we kept getting interrupted by random people, there were 5-6 people in the room, and the woman got up in the middle and asked if she was done. It was simultaneously amusing and angering! The bottom line is that I didn’t do a very good job.

Feminist Activism in India

I’m not sure how many of you follow Indian news, or if the attack in Mangalore drew international attention, but I’ve been thinking quite a bit about it during the last month and a half. To give you a bit of background, women have been harassed in India for years for walking together with men before marriage, wearing jeans and t-shirts and other “revealing” clothing, going to pubs, etc. It’s not only civilians who have been harassing these women, but police as well. There is also a sizable portion of the population who feels that the police have a duty to monitor such women.

My friends and I have had personal experience with this. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been sexually harassed on the streets in India. Friends of mine have been grabbed, and others have been accused of being “whores” for walking with men after dark. Hotels and restaurants sometimes won’t serve a white woman with an Indian (or Indian-American) man because she must be a prostitute. The plight that commercial sex workers face at the hands of the police is much worse.

Okay, so what happened in Mangalore, Karnataka? In late January about 40 men from Sri Ram Sena (a right-wing Hindu group) attacked mainly women in a pub in Mangalore. Their claim was that such women are destroying Indian culture and that it was their duty to save them. Since then, there have been numerous attacks on women reported throughout Karnataka. I’m not sure if this is because the number of attacks has increased or because there is increased media attention focused on this issue. Several men have been arrested but none have been prosecuted because many of the women who were attacked are too ashamed or afraid to step forward.

The attack in Mangalore has sparked quite a debate in India. What I find so interesting (and upsetting) is that the debate isn’t only about whether or not women should drink and/or go to pubs in India, but also whether inciting physical violence against them is an appropriate response. About a month ago there was a television program that somewhat sensationalized the issue by using the term “CULTURE WAR”. Regardless, the show was fascinating with people from numerous different perspectives discussing the issue: the BJP (a right-wing Hindu political party), alcoholics, women and men from many different backgrounds, and middle to upper middle class feminists (it should be noted that while street harassment happens to all women in India, it is mainly middle to upper middle class young Indian women who attend pubs).

Each perspective used its own language: the BJP party condemned the violence but supported the cause of “saving women” from western culture (and since women are the gatekeepers of Indian culture, saving Indian culture as well); alcoholics skirting the gender issue by condemning alcohol because of its addictive capacity; a few women and men who discussed the immorality of alcohol; and feminists claiming that the attacks were a violation of human rights, that it’s not the responsibility of women to preserve “Indian culture,” and that India is such a diverse country that there is no such thing as a singular frozen Indian culture in the first place.

There’s no doubt that in India pubs and bars are historically a male-oriented space, and that women have a profound effect on the organization of that space upon entering it. During the one time that I entered a bar in Mhaswad (very different from any city bar), the crowd went silent, the bartender was reluctant to serve me, and once he did serve me he shoved me into a room and closed the door. While I know that part of the reason he didn’t want people to see me was that he wanted to make sure I was safe (as an aside, I’m not a fan of protectionism), I also think that my presence was seriously disrupting the people in the bar. They had absolutely no idea what was going on and why I was there. I just wanted a drink!

The feminist response to these recent attacks has been pretty amazing. “Pub-going, Loose, and Forward Women” from all over the country are organizing under the Pink Chaddi Campaign. These amazing women organized over 1,500 pairs of pink underwear (some as smelly as possible) to be sent to Muthalik (one of Sri Ram Sena’s leaders). They also all went to a pub on Valentine’s Day and had a drink (both alcoholic and non) for Indian women. What a hilariously poignant and playful way to say fuck you to Sri Ram Sena, the BJP, and the Indian government. Since then, the Pink Chaddi Campaign has organized events all over Karnataka, from Take Back the Night events to peaceful protests and silent demonstrations.

The response to this movement has been somewhat mixed, as can be expected. Muthalik (who obviously has no sense of humor) is threatening to sue each of the pink panty senders for defamation. Other people are blaming these women for blowing the issue out of proportion and not focusing on more “serious” issues such as dowries, illiteracy, and poverty. One person even went so far as to say that it’s immoral for wealthy people to waste their money on alcohol. Other people had issues regarding the public perception of the campaign, that people would write it off as an organization led by Christian women in a predominantly Hindu country (some of the organizers are Christian but there are also Hindus, Muslims, Jains, etc. involved).

Feminist activism has a strong history in India, and I’m really happy that women have taken a strong stance against violations of their rights. For those of you interested in following or participating in the campaign (it’s become a worldwide effort): http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com.

My Parents Came to Visit!

So now to report the fun and exciting news… my parents came to India and we had a delightful time! I joined them on the third day of their journey after they had explored some of the things that I had already seen in and around Delhi.

Stop Number One
On our first day we drove to Corbett National Park. While the drive was slow and arduous, Corbett was well worth the hassle. The park was stunningly beautiful and peaceful, a much needed respite from the rest of India’s hustle and bustle. We spent just under two days there searching for a tiger with the accompaniment of our knowledgeable and friendly guide. Although we weren’t lucky enough to see any tigers, we did see a range of other wildlife: deer, boars, crocodiles, and numerous beautiful birds.

Since my dad wanted the train experience, we boarded an “express train” back to Delhi. While it was shorter than the drive up, there wasn’t anything express about it. Being used to crammed spaces and the different interpersonal courtesies in India, I enjoyed the train ride. I think my parents were a bit surprised when they realized they’d have to put their football skills to use while disembarking the train.

Stop Number Two
We spent the following day exploring Old Delhi, which included the Red Fort, Jama Masjid (the largest mosque in India), and Chandni Chowk (a busy shopping street). I think my parents and I agree that Jama Masjid was the highlight although I had a jolly old time dealing with the various vendors on Chandni Chowk. We also had the best jalebis ever on Chandni Chowk (spiral deep fried dough soaked in sugary goodness).

After Old Delhi we made our way to Connaught Place so that my mom could buy a salwar suit at FabIndia. We followed our little shopping adventure with some South Indian food which my parents weren’t terribly fond of but which I love!

Stop Number Three
The following morning we boarded a delayed flight to Amritsar where we saw a border closing ceremony and the Golden Temple. The border closing ceremony was a bizarre event in which exactly the same thing happens on both the Indian and Pakistani sides, but where each side tries to outdo the other. It’s purely for show and involves screaming, silly walking, and nationalistic chants among the crowds on each side of the border. It was equally interesting and ridiculous, and given that there’s not much else to do in Amritsar, well worth the time.

The following morning we went to the Golden Temple, the holiest place for Sikhs. It was breathtaking! We watched the sun rise over the temple while listening to the chanting and prayers coming from inside. Architecturally it was beautiful with very intricate carving and molding decorating the walls and ceilings. The Golden Temple has almost 800 kilos of gold painted on the outside and inside of the temple. Stunning!

Stop Number Four
And then we returned back to Mhaswad which, after a day of delayed flights and a bumpy car ride, was a bit of a relief for all of us. Mhaswad is pretty calm, peaceful, and clean compared to larger Indian cities. Mann Deshi had already arranged for some stuff for my parents to do- see the bank’s operations, meet some clients, and see the community radio station. I took them to my friend Archana’s house and shop (she is also a bank client), showed them around the farm, and introduced them to the puppies (the highlight of the trip for my dad- HA).
The following day we took a walk behind the house (to the middle of nowhere) and then they packed their things for the trip home. We said our goodbyes and off they went on yet another long and arduous car ride to the international airport in Mumbai.

It was really nice to have my parents here after not seeing them for so long. It was also interesting to talk to them and to get their thoughts on what we saw and experienced together. Although I can’t speak for them, the impression that I got is that they had a great time and enjoyed all of the sights that they saw, but that dealing with everything in between (the driving, the hassling, the haggling, the noise, the pollution, the poverty, etc.) was very taxing and exhausting.

Anyone else want to visit??!

Health and Cultural Sensitivity: a personal anecdote

I’ve been MIA for the past month due to work and personal travel (my parents came to India!). I’ll update you on my parents’ visit later, but for now I thought I’d tell you a bit about one of my afternoons in Hubli, a semi-urban area in NW Karnataka.

Since I’ve been in India I’ve been thinking about getting my ears and nose pierced. I finally decided to go for it in Hubli. I journeyed with my friend Amy to a jewelry shop that was recommended for piercing. The afternoon turned out to be regrettably controversial, and I am deeply sorry to say that Amy and I unintentionally offended the man piercing my nose and ears.

After picking out my gold earrings and nose stud, the man showed up. He carried with him a short fat little copper stick (the copper weapon of death) to do the piercing as well as pliers and metal cutters to bend and trim the gold once in my nose.

Amy, ever the proactive public health advocate, asked them to clean the jewelry. Their resistance raised a bit of a red flag, and we grew very insistent that they clean everything involved (including my nose and ears and his hands). Knowing that we were treading a very fine line between protecting everyone’s health and seriously offending him, we maintained a firm but self-deprecating attitude. Being from a different country, my immune system has developed differently (and possibly not as well).

The piercer initially cleaned everything by using a stagnant bucket of water and a towel that employees used to clean the store. Discovering that they had no soap or alcohol, Amy went to a pharmacy for alcohol and surgical gloves. The piercer refused to wear the surgical gloves (which were for both his health and mine), and then placed the clean jewelry and tools in his mouth, which we then re-cleaned while explaining to him that it’s because people’s mouths carry tons of bacteria and not related specifically to him.

By this point we had inadvertently caused quite a scene. The entire store was staring and laughing at us while the piercer was pretty pissed at the whole situation. After about 20 minutes he managed to pierce everything and get the jewelry through the appropriate holes. It wasn’t the piercing part that was painful, but rather securing the earrings and nose stud. It hurt so much I felt as if I was about to faint.

At the end I tried thanking him, knowing that he was angry and grateful that he still did the piercings, but he was so mad that he stormed out of the store.

I know and understand why he was so mad, and I feel terrible and upset that I made him feel that way. While we knew we were treading a very fine line throughout the whole process, we did a really bad job of actively and practically considering his feelings. Should we have left? Would that have made him feel worse? Where do you draw the line between protecting your health and seriously offending someone else? What could we have done to protect my health (and his, if that’s what he wanted) and make sure that he left feeling satisfied, valued, and dignified?